Pragmatics of Peeing

Every Friday, I brave the midday heat to meet my friend and Yoruba tutor Henry at our local park. This week's topic..."must know" Yoruba phrases. Among the typical Yoruba pleasantries and necessary "pricing" etiquette for market bartering was the most vital phrase of all..."Where is
the bathroom?" Henry quickly scribbled the words "mo fe to" onto my notebook
page with the corresponding English translation - "I want to ease myself." Before his hand finished the final letter, I already was struggling with the lesson. And it wasn't a matter of understanding the Yoruba; it was the English translation!

"I want to ease myself" was not in my oyibo vocabulary. I understood the words and their meaning but still searched for the American equivalent - "Where is your restroom?"...no; "May I please use your bathroom?"...not really; "I have to relieve myself"...pretty close but not commonly used back home. When considering all my alternatives, I still couldn't imagine approaching a stranger and making a definitive announcement about my desire to urinate. Even using the "politically correct" terminology of "easing oneself" did not dilute the frank statement.

"Why don't you just say 'May I use the restroom?' or 'Where is your restroom, please,'" I asked Henry. Without pausing, he responded, "There are some things that don't need to be asked." He explained that in Nigeria if you know you need something, you don't ask for it. You just say it. If you ask "where is the restroom" and there is no physical building of restroom-like quality (which is often the case here), you'll find out just that and nothing more. You'll be in the same predicament as before, unable to ease yourself and not knowing where the appropriate place is to do it.

This want-it say-it approach doesn't stop with bodily functions either. Earlier in our conversation, Henry taught me how to request a drink. Far from our own overly polite methodology ("May I please have something to drink"), in Yoruba you say "mo fe mu Fanta" (I want to drink Fanta). According to Henry, it makes no sense to ask for "something" to drink when you know what you want and you know it's Fanta.

Our conversation reminded me of another all-too-familiar situation. The ease with which people ask for a dash. Without a second thought, I've had friends and acquaintances ask for a bit of money, cookies, a fish dinner, a laptop, and even the sling bag I use to tote my daily necessities. I've dismissed it as rude up to this point in time (despite being told to expect these awkward requests), but now it makes me wonder if the same rule applies. Whether you are peeing or propositioning, if you want it, you say it.