I'll Never Complain About Easter Vigil Again!

Being a good Catholic (or at least trying to be), I have made a weekly commitment to attend Mass at my local church. Based on prior services, I know that Mass usually starts late, ends late, and occupies about 2 hours in between. Yesterday, however, was the annual Harvest Festival at my church. It is a day of thanksgiving for another successful and healthy year, and offerings are made in celebration. So I pulled out my mental calculator (Mass starts at 9:30 am, has potential to to run 2+ hours, with an extra 1.5+ for Harvest festivities) and told Brian I would be home around 1:30 pm.

I didn't get home until 4...and I left early!

The Mass itself lasted until noon...2.5 hours as I anticipated. But just before the final blessing, the Harvest Committee Chairperson approached the pulpit and announced the Harvest procession order, which included special guests and numerous groups, committees, and communities. Apparently this was done in the interest of time, so the gift presentation would proceed "as quickly as possible" (I've learned very quickly, that "quickly" is a relative terms). A 2-hour procession ensued.

Despite its length, the time passed quickly as I watched the various groups approach with gifts...fruit baskets, paper towels, fans, juice boxes, sprite...even a lamp. With the choir in full swing and the parishioners dancing energetically toward the alter for a holy water blessing, I waited in anticipation for the Chairperson to call a group I identified with. Special guests..no. Charismatic Renewal or St. Vincent DePaul Society...no. Mothers and children...no. Men of possession...no. The end of the procession was approaching and I had yet to present my gift at the alter! Finally, they called Small Christian Communities, Road 2.

I live on Road 2, so I guess that was close enough. I exited the church and asked someone where the Road 2 group was gathered. Before I could grab my box of yams for offering, a woman pulled me her direction and the undulating group began to push me forward into the procession. Dancing and singing with everyone else, it was not until half way down the aisle that I notice our group is carrying a refrigerator, television, and electric fan. Whoops! Obviously this was an exclusive, affluent, and "official" christian community that had organized such generous gifts.

A bit mortified by my mistake, and glad that I had left my yams outside, I returned to me seat for the final blessing. The young woman seated next to me looked at her watch and sighed. I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking "when the heck is the service going to be over." She finally turned to me, out of either curiosity or boredom, and introduced herself. Tonia was realtor who just recently joined the Transfiguration community. Presumably she didn't know many people either, so she took me under her wing for the after Mass activities.

Processed and blessed, we left the church at 2 pm and headed outdoors where linened plastic tables awaited the opening festivities. We chose seats close to the front, purchased food (spicy pepper rice), and turned our attention to the front where a man with a microphone began to speak. The rest of the afternoon progressed much like a public television telethon. The MC talked non-stop asking people to make donations for the construction of a new church building. Slips of paper were handed to him with promised pledges. The names and pledges amounts were announced with enthusiasm no matter how small or large. The MC even had a long table with seated guests behind him, making it eerily similar to the televised PBS fundraising efforts.

After enjoying the company of my tablemates, and seeing that the live auction was about to start, Tonia and I decide it's time to throw in the towel and head home. Walking down the street toward home, I think to myself, 6.5 hours at church...Easter Vigil will be a piece of cake next year.