The Sun Doesn't Set on the US Empire

The US "empire" probably would end somewhere between New York and the Middle East, but the economic empire rules worldwide. This has become increasingly apparent during our various travels throughout the African continent. To obtain visas for Egypt, Tanzania, and Kenya only USD is accepted. Not even pounds or Euros will fly. During our safari, Brian and I were the only Americans (the rest being Australian, South African, British, and Tanzanian) and all of them carried USD as a necessary part of their traveling load.

Even in East Africa the USD seems to rule. We tipped our guides in USD and hotels charged us in USD rather than local currency. While buying some items at a local snack stand, the vendor accepted USD and was able to change us 20s for our 100 dollar bill. Even the Masai villages, which still adhere closely to nomadic and traditional ways of life, negotiate in USD for the trinkets and jewelry they sell.

Don't have enough USD to pay for what you want? No problem. In East Africa mixed currencies of USD and Tanzanian shillings (for example) were also gladly accepted. Economically, the United States seems to rule worldwide...or at least as far east as Tanzania and Kenya.

The Language Lull

Now that we've lived in Lagos 6 months, we've gotten a pretty good grasp on how to successfully communicate with fellow residents of our bustling and busy city. It is generally accepted to be extremely direct...this could involve shouting (which is not considered offensive per say) or simply stating something as you see it, whether it's a compliment or a concern. Basically, you can put everything out on the table without fear of offense, but retaliation in kind is usually expected.

While visiting Kenya and Tanzania, however, differences in communication style were immediately apparent. Upon arrival in Orusha, I had several logistical questions to ask our trip coordinator.
Does the bus start running at 6:30? (lengthy pause) Yes.
Does it pick up every two hours? (another length pause) Yes.
Will breakfast be served early the morning of the marathon? (now, an annoyingly lengthy pause) Yes.

I was beginning to feel like she was just saying "Yes" because she didn't know the answers! Truthfully, all the information she gave us was accurate but the overuse of pauses and the conciseness of her answers made me skeptical. I quickly learned to ask non-Yes/No questions.

Even with non-Yes/No question, however, the contemplative pauses and concises response were still present. When we'd point and ask our safari guide Raymond to identify an animal, this is typically how it went:
What is that? (pause) Im-pala.
Is it an Antelope? (pause) Ye-sss. (Pause, Pause, Pause). The impala has three lines on their back.

In addition to adjusting our strategies for getting the information we needed, our entire manner of speaking also had to be adjusted from our Lagos lingo style. In Lagos, you are more easily understood if you make things simple, speak in present tense, and speak slowly. Don't use too many fillers or explain the situation too much. Inevitably our accent paired with long explanations would make us unintelligible in Lagos. But in East Africa, this manner of speaking just didn't sound quite right. Despite the general lull and relative conciseness in speech, there seemed to be little purging of tenses or and our complex, long-winded American statements were easily understood.

Overall, we found it easier to communicate in East Africa than in Lagos. But patience was a virtue when it came to communicating in this lulling linguistic style.

Safari-land

My perceptions of Africa prior to moving here were a bit skewed to say the least. I imagined a world of elephants and rhinos, endless plains and wild jungles, and a population that was spread into small villages rather than concentrated into big cities. Finally, after our visit to Tanzania, I found the Africa I was looking for...all within the regulated confines of the national park system.

As we started our 6-day safari, I couldn't help but draw parallels to one of the first scenes in Jurassic Park. Jeff Goldblum had just met with the park's creator and, along with the creator's grandchildren, was escorted via jeep on an electric track to view the park first-hand. Being realistic, we weren't towed along on a mechanized track and there was no entrance of grandiose proportion; but we were in Land Cruisers, the only other signs of human life were also in SUVs led by safari companies and the occasional Masai village on the outskirts, and we traversed the Serengeti on manicured trails maintained by the national park. There was even a well-maintained museum at its entrance to explain ecosystems and plant and animal life that we would observe within the park.

Despite East Africa being famed for exotic game, we didn't see lions roaming beside the local highway nor did we see much of any wildlife outside of "Safari-land." In fact the only animals we came in close contact with outside the confines of the national parks were camels and goats... not very "Africa" if you ask me. Like false perceptions of Texas -- everyone rides horses, wears cowboy boots, and lives on a ranch -- East African cities are not swarmed with hyena packs or zebra and wildebeest migrations. But if you keep a close eye, the occasional giraffe roaming roadside will give you a subtle reminder that, yes... you are indeed in Africa.

And the Winners Are...

Pippi Longstocking Look-alike Contest: It's hard to take the buffalo too seriously with a pair of horns that looks like the helmet version of a Pippy-do.

Most Colorful Genitalia: Seated, the Velvet Monkeys look like any other. But when they start to crawl on all fours, the males' fluorescent blue testicles draw everyone's eyes their direction.

Best Poser: No need to be quick with the camera; giraffes love to stand and pose!

Most Rare: Don't be fooled by its splotches of white; this Black Rhino is endangered and rarely seen on safari.

Best Butt: Zebras actually resemble donkeys more than horses. Maybe that's why they have such a great &%$.

Nastiest: The hippos we saw found refuge in refuse...a cesspool of hippo excrement that could be smelled from afar.

Wild Africa

Coming from the Swahili noun meaning "travel," our safari fit that definition to a tee. For 6 days we traveled an average of 7 hours daily via Land Cruiser across the planes and through the jungles and forests of Tanzania. The Serengeti, Ngorongoro Crater, and Lake Manyara were breathtaking to say the least. Animals in their natural habitat tainted by few signs of civilization.

We camped all 5 nights of the journey, which in hindsight was a much better option than lodges. There were always facilities available though they varied in quality (cold vs. hot shower water; outhouse vs. flushable toilets); and if you can deal with up close and personal encounters with wild animals camping is highly suggested.

Our first night, we were welcomed by large storks meandering through the tent area and perfectly willing to pose for pictures. Later that evening, a fellow camper and I headed to the bathroom only to encounter two bush pigs looking for food. The pigs found the food they sought a couple hours later when one actually entered the tent of our friends Logi and Joey. Apparently the bush pigs were fans of Vita Crackers. Luckily pigs are hungry and hoarding but harmless.

More dangerous are the buffalo which Brian encountered on his trip to the bathroom that same night. If you play dead, they won't touch you...after all they are herbivores and don't feel threatened by things that are dead. Hyenas we heard scurrying around our tents on another evening. Don't play dead or you'll end up a happy hyena's dinner given their scavenger lifestyle. Just walk backward slowly, out of harms way, and hope you never get caught between a buffalo and a hyena.

Elephants can be harmless and won't attack unless provoked. But if you see their ears start to flare and a trumpeting sound you should start to worry. Unless you are an achieved Kenyan runner, don't try to outrun the big beast; they can reach speeds of up to 25 miles/hour. A better option is to take cover in a vehicle or building. That's what we did when a hungry elephant (they eat 18 hours a day so they are always hungry) entered our campsite and picked up our trailer with its tusks and trunk looking for food.

Besides the up close and personal encounters, we were able to see just about every type of antelope East Africa has to offer, the wildebeest migration, and of course the Big Five -- Buffalo, Rhino, Elephant, Lion, and Leopard. It truly was a wild African experience.